Monthly Archives: June 2010
do stupid thoughts crowd your mind? things like…
why do the horses stay out in the field in the pouring down rain? do they not mind? and then you lose 20 minutes of your life staring at them out the front door.
“Begin their own family trees, teach them thank you and please
As they spread their own roots then watch the young fruit grow again
And this old trail will lead me right back to where it begins”.
Was home again this weekend. So was my brother and his girlfriend. They drove almost three hours to spend another few hours before driving it right back again, with no air conditioning. I am lucky to be so much closer. For me I am lucky that home is always, right there. And with us there, it is just like old times, only we are much bigger and the next generation is there, the smaller ones. My Mom makes the same foods, but now we drink wine and beer. Now we have jobs, lives, families apart from this place but when we are there I am sure it feels less like an empty nest.
Is harder than it appears. I’ve been bombarded lately with negative feelings. You know those days when you just want to find that one bright spot? I think at my root I am a happy, kind and grateful person, but I’m also sensitive and empathatic. You know that book, The Highly Sensitive Person, it sits on my bookshelf, with The Highly Sensitive Child right next to it because after all these are my children.
Oh and I’ve decided to start using my children’s real names on the blog. Will I regret it, maybe? Not sure. Just so you know, if you don’t know already, Emily is the blonde, Karelyn (cuh-rel-in) is the redhead.
Sometimes I think the book I really need though would be titled “How To Stay Happy and Kind In a World of Miserable Selfish People”. I’m really aggravated with people these days and most days I think there may be just about no one in my general area who holds the same viewpoints or has the same set of principles I have. I think I might fall over in gratitude if I ran into someone about town who felt the same way about music, food, love, life and generosity.
It did happen today though. I was at the grocery store. I had just finished my shopping. I was putting my cart away and saw a familiar Subaru with a “Choose Civility” sticker on the back. Smile. It was my Mom’s.
I went back inside and found her, talked for a few minutes.
I have a family that understands. I have a real good friend. I have you, and you and you.
I have decided to let the rest of the world keep their misery and put up a barrier. I am going to quit reading the newspaper again. I am going to go back to soaking up beautiful photos, beautiful words, beautiful song.
That’s the stuff I need to soak in and then I’m going to let it emanate and see maybe if some of it spreads around.
The girls are working on a movie. We’ve been spending time “on location”. They get to be actresses. I get to spend time with my best friend whose husband is making the movie. It ends up working out pretty good for all of us.
It’s a zombie film, but not your ordinary zombie film. It’s a film about boring zombies. Actually, it’s a really good idea as zombie films go, which I am not a huge fan of.
If there IS a zombie apocolypse though I can tell you one thing, my girls will NOT be prepared. They think zombies eat carrot bobs, drink pepsi through a straw and tell you exactly how to hit them.
We are getting a bit immune to people walking around covered in blood with parts of their body missing.
Karelyn went to bed last night with zombie blood on the bottom of her foot. She apparently picked it up somewhere along the way frolicking through the grass waiting for her time to film. I tried to get her to wash it off before bed, but she was just a little too cool for that.
She played with my friend’s baby, spent a lot of time engrossed in Mario Kart, blew some bubbles, ate a couple ice cream sandwiches, then she went and poked a zombie with a stick for about fifteen minutes.
Just an ordinary day.
So if you see pics like this in the photostream….don’t be alarmed.
what i’m doing here. i have great intention when it comes to the blog and my reader, but life seems so busy right now AND i don’t even have a garden. it seems there are never enough hours in the day even with the 8:30 sunset. yesterday i had a complete temper tantrum in the a.m. hours. faced with another weekend of 10,000 things to accomplish in two days just completely set me off. add some burgeoning hormones and yikes, it was a scary place to be. today is better despite the 1 a.m. bedtime. some espresso and some good tunes and i might actually kick my house’s tail.
it’s still a struggle. i keep thinking if i just take one or two days and focus solely on clearing out and getting rid of the stuff i would feel better, but i just cannot seem to give it that full commitment. i continue to want to purge, purge, purge. the whole idea being if there is less stuff to contend with, less time devoted to it, right?
so how much is enough, 100 things? i’m done there with books alone. so it’s going to come down to the love it/use it theory and i see piles forming in the basement to go, go, go. i see it. sense the wording. i’ve yet to get there.
perhaps the espresso will work. maybe a little Green Day to fuel the fires, they usually pump up the workouts.
oh the workout, crap.
wish me luck.
“..and so I try to understand, what i can’t hold, in my hand…”
Jack Johnson, Home.
i’ve had my head up to the sky lately. cloudwatching. i’ve been obsessively photographing them this past week. we’ve had some brilliant skies and some amazing almost thunderstorms. it’s dry here and i’m trying to remember a month ago when i complained when will it ever stop raining. but the clouds. the girls said they were dizzy from my turn the car around in the other direction and pop out and take a photo of the sky behavior lately. it’s easy to look at the clouds. it’s easy to lay in the grass and gaze. sometimes it’s easier to lose yourself in the sky then try to figure out what’s happening down here on earth.