love/hate/love

i just need to say a thank you to everyone who left a comment on my “hating the house moms” post and i’m hoping that everyone who left a comment is here again today to read this.

i wrote that post on a night i was literally and physically drop dead exausted. i vented all my frustration on my regrets for not being what i had dreamed perhaps one day to be or maybe just vented my frustration at being alone.

when i wrote that post i was hoping it wouldn’t come across as an attack on stay at home mom’s.  i wanted it to be envious at best, because that was what i was feeling, with a weird side of tired annoyance sneaking in.

i almost took the post down the next morning because i thought it was outside of my usual nature, but then i realized that it is because of this that i should post it. i agree with what jennifer said about being tired of the “perfect blogs” where everything is always just so, like the pages of a Martha Stewart magazine.  those blogs serve their purposes and there are sometimes that I like to peruse them, but cannot do it on a daily basis.  this blog is MY life documented,  so it will of course have beautiful moments and moments of frustration.  love/hate/love.  such is this beautiful life.  

but it is nice to know that everyone has bad days.  that everyone has spills on their floors and children tearing their hair out and long, lonely days whether you are mother or not, working, WAH, SAH, single or parenting with a partner.  In the end it was nice to read what all of you wrote and it left me feeling definitely not alone.  

there is always in every minute of every day, someone having a more difficult time and someone having a less difficult time.  i am just thankful that i have come to have two things:  1. the ability to accept negative feelings, roll with them, and move on and 2.  a great tribe of people who listen to me whine, hold me up and keep me going.

a little bit of kindness…

I was going to do a formatted post today.  But this is more important, this other thing I am doing.

My second blog site is heading for a start date of September 1st.  Working through design stages now and feeling out first posts and challenges.  I’ve been setting up a new email account, new folders, new files, a new twitter account.  So if you see me and don’t know me it will be under bitsofkindness.  (i haven’t been able to integrate everyone from the old twitter account to the new one, so if i haven’t found you yet, please follow me so i can return the favor).

little bits of kindness.  I know I’ve been hinting around it for awhile.  No link yet, but it’s almost here. It’s been my day and night obsession for the last few months.  It’s a little like when you find home.

You know what I found at home when I finally found it.  A whole lot of other fantastic folks and places and that is a HUGE understatement.  I never, ever dreamed there were so many people out there doing good things.

A lot of it is waiting for the new blog.  But this one I  knew I had to immediately post about since I saw what a huge impact it had.

Last week I joined a group called LOVE BOMB.  The sole purpose of Love Bomb is to once a week drop comments on the blog of someone who is in need of it.  It takes five minutes a week.  That is it.

I know you. I know your good heartedness.  I know your giving natures.  I know you can do it too.

Because let me tell you.  The first love bomb mission I took part in was to hit up a young, gifted writer who just happens to be suffering from anorexia.  She writes with beauty, with honesty and with pain and anger and tenderness.

I got the email at work.  I went over.  I read her words.  I commented. And then I went back today and read her new post after she went through over 350 positive and supportive comments on her blog and lost it completely.

This is what is is about people.

holy hell.

(forgive that , i know it makes no sense, but it’s my favorite expression).

Look at what we can do with this world.

Photo Assignment #4 Faceless Portraits

Ems:  “The World At Her Feet”

Boo: “An unusual shy moment”

Me: “Bits and Pieces”

And then to have to show our faces?

Don’t we all feel better behind the camera.

The mirror shot.

It’s been a tough year and a half figuring out “who” I am.

But if I had to pick one word–mother.

************

This photo project inspired something else in me though.  When Carolyn first posted the assignment it brought back a memory of something I had wanted to do years ago.  When Boo, the youngest, was about two years old, I had the idea to take a photo of the four of our hands all together and frame it.  Though I would have liked to see the small two-year old hand of Boo and the four-year old hand of Ems, I am glad that post-divorce I can now take the picture of this little family as it is, with no hard feelings about the loss of my husband.  So here is the true nature of this little family to me.

The brilliance of love, a love between me and my beautiful girls that carries us through every day.

The strength of all three of us together.

Me.

Ems.

Boo.

Almost Wordless Wednesday: Reflection

I have made the decision to reflect quietly until after the holidays.

I will be posting some photos, as time allows.

If you have the time, stop by.

In the meantime…

May the blessings of this season surround you with comfort & joy.

Will follow up with you all after….

#3 Select A Theme: Snow

Everything that could or would go wrong for this week’s assignment did.  My theme had originally been “festive” as I knew we were decorating the house and going to the Christmas parade in town on Saturday.  Well, my back decided to prevent me from decorating and an unexpected blast of snow prevented us from going to the parade.  When life gives you lemons……you go out into the backyard and shoot a new theme.

We rarely get snow here in my little part of Maryland before January.  One Christmas Eve we were blessed with snow, which was also my due date for Boo monkey ( I didn’t have her until Jan. 3rd, luckily).  This is her below, outside the second time around, with hot chocolate all over her face.  Notice how she is following the keep your ears covered rule.

So there was a rippling of excitement going through this house yesterday as the girls donned boots and coats, hats and scarves to get outside and play.  Two pairs of wet, muddy clothes, a warm chicken lunch and some hot chocolate later, I finally got a chance to work on the photos.  I definitely wanted to do some editing to bring out the chilliness of the pictures.   Now throw in some camera malfunction and some computer testiness and you’ll understand why I threw in the towel at 10:00 last night and said just start fresh today!

I want to thank Carolyn and Camilla for sponsoring this project.  I have enjoyed it immensely.  It has brought a whole new field of vision to how I am taking pictures.  To stop and THINK first about what I am going to shoot, rather than snapping the same old things.  I probably would not have braved the outside yesterday and missed these gorgeous shots (okay, probably I would have).  It’s also been wonderful getting to meet so many new friends doing the same thing so please if you are not already in the project take some time to see their creations as well.

bloom rosenotes farmama florali we heart yarn beehouse hives hartwood roses potjethee ididn’trealeyes madebyanmarie mackvilleroad giveagirlafig earthycrunchy earthmama once upon a parent

If I missed anyone, please let me know, I am glad to see more of my friends are joining in!  I won’t be around to comment until later this afternoon, but if I come across anyone new I will add them to the list.

We have one more assignment, and it’s a good one, so if you want to join in, gather up here.

Color Quilt Challenge

A challenge over at bloom to use our photographs to creat a color quilt was something I didn’t know if I would get done this week.  So I grabbed my camera as I headed out to do some Christmas shopping with family today.

My “shopping day in Lancaster county “ color quilt.

What I realized through this was how most of my photos are either, green, brown or more muted neutral colors.  Rarely do I pick up on bright yellows, blues or reds, so this was an eye opener.  See though, how I could not resist a brown, this sign caught my eye outside of the shop and I liked it so much I had to include it.  And now I find myself wanting to stay up late tonight, making more and more with older photos.

I am really looking forward to the next challenge which you can find here and don’t forget to stop by here to read the comments and see who else participated.  Since I am getting a late post due to a busy day, I’ve already peeked and they are all very lovely.

Oh! Pioneer

You read Pioneer Woman already, don’t you?  Tell me you read Pioneer Woman?  I had, but then hadn’t for awhile.  Then I realized her cookbook (drool, swoon) had just come out.  Just a few days before I visited and I wanted it, oh I wanted it, but I’m trying to control my spending and acquiring, and the cookbook bookcase is full, yes, you read that right cookbook bookcase.

But then I walked into the library, I’m trying to find a new book to rival the goodness of the last one and I breeze by the NEW BOOKS section and there it is, brand spanking new, on the shelf staring out at me:

 

You know what I love…..

I love the not so simple simple life.  I love recipes made from the heart.  I love some really, really good cattle pictures, for real.  And I love when someone can start a blog, become famous and still not apologize and still seem 100% real deal.  I love they took a bajillion photos of her for the cover and she had her hubby take this one of her in her real kitchen.

You know what I think….

I think there must be a real deal cowboy out there who’s looking for a girl to cook sweet meals and raise wild children?  Right?  Cattle are optional, goats are a necessity.

 

 

Winners!

“I love to give homemade gifts. I can be pretty crafty when I want to be and over the years I’ve given away lots of homemade goodies. One year I made some clay Christmas ornaments, another year my husband and I made mason jar lamps, this year we are working on little primitive tables”.

–Lisa

“It’s never anything big–in fact it’s usually something that is under $10–and it’s something that I was with them when they first saw it.  I saw them smile and look at it with just that touch on desire that we all so often have when we see something that we just love.  And then I saw them put it down or walk away knowing that they would never see it again let alone buy it for themselves”.

–Nytesong

Congratulations!  Vintage magazines flying your way, just shoot me your name and addresses and I will get them in the mail!  We were meant to pull these yesterday but the night got away from us, so the girls pulled the names before school this morning….

Want to enter another great contest, hop on over to Gardenmama, you won’t believe (okay maybe you will, if you’ve followed her for any length of time) what she’s giving away, just in time for fall……

Collecting For Sarah.

They are finally falling pretty steady now, the beginnings of fall.  By the end of the week, we should have a nice lot to give.

Thank you to everyone for your kind comments over the last few days as I blasted you with words.  Your comments and the subsequent email conversations surprised me and just reinforced what  a lovely blog circle this is.  How lucky am I to have found the best of blogmates ever?

And The Winner Is….

Congrats Beegirl!  You hit it right on the money, 155 yummy pages of recipes in my baking binder.

That’s a lot of walking to do!

Send me your info and I will get that scrum-dilly-dilly cookbook your way!