the whole world feels different.
I can’t explain it. The darkness has been overwhelming this year and all of a sudden I feel positive again.
Everything around me just seems better.
Reading Terri Irwin’s book about her late husband Steve “The Crocodile Hunter” Irwin and suddenly I believe in true love again. Even though it’s so tragic.
I’m talking to everyone. Grocery checkers, the drive thru lady, random people in stores, the neighbor in the barn from across the yard, the horses and donkeys, the mailman, the geese flying overhead.
I have a job interview and instead of thinking oh god, i have to go back to work, i thought, ooh, i bet no one there will say, mommy ……, mommy……, mommy……. and my house might stay a bit cleaner if I’m not there all day.
I want to purge all the crap out of the house, all that stuff we don’t need, will only use once in the next hundred years, not throwing away because I can reuse it someway, somehow, someday.
Want to go to a church service this weekend. I have a…religion…thing.
Don’t feel like I need anything…at all…seriously, really satisfied with what I have.
Think that if I make a few “real-life friends”, hey that might be fun instead of a chore.
Think it might be OKAY to find a decent man one day, but in the meantime I can watch James McAvoy movies and go to dreamy dream land listening to Jason Mraz.
Got the urge to totally decorate boo’s sparse white room in gorgeous rainbow colors and a big banner that says “B-O-O-T-I-F-U-L.
Realized my estranged husband is struggling and though he is hurting us, he is lost and thankful that at least I have it TOGETHER.
Know that whatever I do and whoever I continue to become. I will be okay.