Monthly Archives: February 2009

Thank Goodness For Fathers

Who pick up your girls on short notice after school and take them to dinner until you get home from work.

Top thing I could not do without:   FAMILY.

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My Background Noise

Thanks to everyone for their wonderful emails and comments about my horrid day yesterday and am feeling much better about myself today.  

In the meantime, since it’s late and I’m promising myself sleep tonight (one goal), here is a quick list of what’s playing in the car and on the itunes this month. I’m in a bluesy, mellow, reggaeish (word?) mood this month.

Lizzie, got some itunes cards yet?

 

“Out Loud” Dispatch

“Big String” Corey Harris

“Constellations” Jack Johnson

“Beautiful World” Colin Hay

“I Love The Rain The Most” Joe Purdy

“Calling All Cars” Sean Hayes

“Collie Man” Slightly Stoopid

“Desert Sunrise” Brett Dennen

“Everlong” Foo Fighters

“Three Little Birds” Bob Marley

“Darkness Between The Fireflies” Mason Jennings

“These Streets” Paolo Nutini

“Island In The Sun” Weezer

“Dragonfly” Ziggy Marley 

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disheartened

with myself.

woke up this morning. gave the girls their clothes not expecting them to get dressed while i was in the shower.  mornings are a struggle most days.

emerge from shower and girls are missing and clothes are off the bed. hear them downstairs scraping chairs in the kitchen.

dry off, get dressed, walk downstairs.  they have not only dressed but made breakfast for me and for themselves. the table holds, two bowls of honey nut cheerios and one bowl of cascadian farms granola with an apple sitting next to it because as ems says, we can’t cut it for you mommy.

sit down (for once) and eat breakfast with my girls which was beyond a mother’s dream come true.  so proud of them.

then it erupts.

there is one steadfast rule i hold tight to in my home.  there will be no hitting.  i don’t hit my children.  a small pat of the rear as they go up the stairs to get them to hightail it, but we are just not that kind of family that believes brutality fixes anything….at all.

the second newly enforced rule is that they are not allowed in the bathroom at the same time.  because when they are, it is NEVER good. after a toothpaste fight, a roll of toilet paper in the toilet, and numerous changes of clothes in the morning after water battles, they have been told.

which is why after a glorious morning, i lost it, when boo emerged from upstairs holding her arm, that ems had squeezed her.  when asked what boo did, she smacked her.  so they were both in the bathroom together and hitting happened.

i start out calm, and explaining things.  i am the explainer in the beginning.  we don’t do this because this is what happens…….this is how this makes her/me feel so would you want……….you need to apologize but that’s not enough, what can you do to make her feel better, you have to make up for it……….

but there is a problem.  see, ems is a miniature version of me. she stomps her feet, she screams, she cries, she has a very difficult time keeping her emotions in check and like me has difficulty letting it go.

we have tried timeout, we have tried rewards for good behavior, we have tried taking away privileges, we have tried going outside and throwing beanbags, we have tried deep breathing. but the two of us together both upset is a recipe for disaster.

which resulted in my grandmother walking in the door to ems in time out in the dining room, screaming at me and me yelling back, that i had five minutes to leave and didn’t have time for this.  so ems kept screaming and kicking and ranting about not being able to sit still and i, well i stood spreading strawberry jam on her sandwich,  silently crying at the kitchen island because i feel like i have no control.

i realize this is more about me. and my feeling overwhelmed.  i sit here now at work, wondering how we went from such proud, beautiful moments to heinous chaos in one morning.  i want the girls to be responsible, and find their manners again.  i want to provide them with discipline, but at the same time i don’t want to nag, nag, nag at them all day long, because honestly i don’t have the energy for it.

i feel some days that i do not have enough to give them.  that maybe a better mother, a more organized mother, would remember to check things on forms, would not forget to give them a bath, would have the time to do the things the teachers suggest for at home, would pack the lunches and do the dishes the night before, would be relaxed enough to take the time and calmly work out the issues of naughty behavior, would not come home, tired and weary of their energy and enthusiasm.

but alas, supernanny is not coming, and all i can do is continue to strive to become more organized, and take care of myself.   with more sleep and better food and maybe a vitamin and some exercise i would feel better myself.  but then that requires some time now doesn’t it, and i seem to be short on that these days.  all i know is  life will continue to be difficult and tiring and soon enough we will be a home with one mama and two blossoming, hormonal teenagers, so let’s hope that by then, i get my stuff together and these little beauties in line.

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Wordless Wednesday: New Nest

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Landing In A Sea of Blue Flowers

Sometimes, you are so tired, and so worn down, and so overloaded that no matter how much you try, you just have to cave in to it.  Just give up and put a cranky girl to bed, even if that cranky girl is you.

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The Pig?

Boo:  Can I get a weenie dog?  

Me: No, we aren’t getting any more dogs after Abby.

Boo:  Then can I have a squirrel?

Which then brings on the nonsense that has been going round my head for the last month about the possibility of Ems getting a guinea pig for her birthday which has been a topic of discussion this last year.  

I had wanted her to wait until she was 13 or 14.  Grandmama said that was too late and that was past “guinea pig craving age.  Militant Mama (me) calmed down and thought, okay maybe she’s right and maybe her eighth birthday would be the right time.  I mean she’s been cooing and carrying and feeding and caring for the cat here over the last few months.

So, I did some online research on guinea pigs.

They are a very kid friendly pet.  They are social animals.  They live from five to seven years and as long as ten.  They need a lot of space, but there are some great ideas for inexpensive pens.  They won’t have to be walked in the blistering chill or leave hair all over the downstairs. They probably also won’t chew up hula skirts and throw them up on the carpet.

guinea-pig-square

There would be a definite cost in their upkeep as for food and bedding.  Mama would be doing the feeding/cleanup that Ems fails to do on top of our other two furry family members.  We have a cat and a dog, at least of which the cat would think guinea pig would be a fun toy if Em’s leaves guinea pigs out or door open.  The cage would take up a lot of space in Em’s room.

I’m thinking that maybe it is I, who is not ready for the guinea pig.  Or perhaps we should trade in the houdini escape artist dog and hula puking cat in for two little gentle fuzzballs.

Which then leads to the other question going through my head these last few weeks about what to get Ems for her eighth birthday?  She’s in this funny stage.  No longer little girl but not quite teen.  I’m going to stay away from the HORRIBLE word and all the accoutrements that go along with the word pre-teen.

She has craft projects galore, we have toys that are not being played with.  Books are always a good option, but then what else?

There is the hounding, hounding, hounding request for a Nintendo DS, that with the tax refund I could afford, but have a hard time when they already have so much on the computer they can play and besides that really would be a better gift for both the girls at Christmastime, if I can force myself to break down and do it.  They are smart, imaginative girls, I imagine that they would not become drooling zombies regardless of what images I create in my brain.

So give me your advice….guinea pig or no?

What great things are there out there to thrill an eight year old girl with a plastic toy hating mama?  

I know, I know, I really overthink these things.  I do.  


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Retro Game Weekends Continue…

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