it started by reading Boo one of our favorite books before bed, “Grandfather Twilight” by Barbara Berger. the perfect bedtime story.
Boo asked me what twilight was, and i thought and then told her, “it’s the time when the day is almost done but it’s not quite night. when it’s barely light, but not quite dark”. oh.
i found peace after an anxious day, reading about grandfather twilight. then i kissed my girls, pulled up their covers, stroked their hair back and stepped onto my front porch to catch my own bit of in-between time.
in terms of my hectic day it took quite a long time for me to sit there and wait for night to come. at first i could see all the way down to the hay wagons in the far field. the goats meandering over to the fence. the bugs diving and bombing the air around me. as it got darker i went in, got a sweater, calmed the dog, but where i wanted to be was right back outside.
it grew more dim. i could no longer see the hay wagons, a black cat hurried across the street from the barn and carefully made it’s way up my driveway, not acknowledging i was there. the sounds of the birds quieted. the sounds of the insects picked up. a mosquito bit my bare foot.
my monkey brain went away. i stopped thinking about the 20,000 things i didn’t get done today. i thought about the accomplishments i did make. i thought about the magic of the world around me. about the beauty of a sky and the calming of a coming night.
i thought that maybe i would wake early to watch the sunrise. that perhaps a cup of tea and a sunrise would pave the way to a better day.