She started having anxiety attacks again in West Virginia.

The obsessive fears.  This time of stopping breathing, heart stopping, breast cancer, appendicitis, meningitis?  What are these things Mommy?What if it happens to me?  What if I stop breathing in the middle of the night?  Mommy, I cannot make the worries stop and I’m so tired of it.

It’s a changing set of worries that evolve into something else until we can work through the explanations to an understanding.  There have been a lot of books, counselors, teachers and a lot of reassurance.

She didn’t want to go to the beach with her father and her grandmother.  She had the opportunity at a four-day trip to a place she loves with a father she only occasionally sees.  She was too worried about being away from home, being away from Mommy, being uncomfortable.

I didn’t push.  We talked about what could or would happen.  I left it to her.  No, still not going.  No, still don’t want to be away from home overnight.

Her sister was packed, ready to go Monday morning.  I was preparing for work and ten minutes out from leaving.  I walked upstairs to brush my teeth and said, “Ems, where are you I haven’t seen you?”

She was in her room.  Her bag was on her bed.  She was grabbing things and throwing them in.  “I’ve decided I  want to go”.  So we packed her bag and she talked about this and that and the other she was going to do.  She could hardly contain her enthusiasm.

My heart I thought would burst at her bravery.  She had conquered the fear.  For another child that might not seem like much.  For Em’s it’s a big deal.

She called last night.  She had been to the beach.  Grandmom had helped her drive the golf cart.  They went to dinner.  She was still excited.

My big brave girl.



Filed under girls

8 responses to “Bravery

  1. That’s really great. I understand much better the comment you left on my wailing wall post.

    I hope she has the best time. – Chuck

  2. I am sure it was bittersweet. Maybe a part of you wanted her to stay? You are right though, she is so brave. I know you must be very proud of her.

  3. Oh, my friend. Tears of joy for you both. For you, because you saw your daughter conquer that fear and your love & pride filled your heart. For Em’s, because she’ll be able to look back on this and know that she can do anything. Wow. Thank you for sharing this beautiful moment. A very brave girl indeed.

  4. Wow. I have tears in my eyes. I am happy for you and for your big, brave girl.

  5. I’m so glad she went…and is having a good time. I was a very timid child…didn’t do anything even if my mom was WITH me! So good for her..she DID conquer that fear. That is amazing…and something to be celebrated. xo

    (thanks for the sweet comments…I love that you see what I am not writing, too…)

  6. What a milestone for both of you, really. Hope this on your own will also be a good time for you.

  7. I want to give Ems a hug…you too. Doesn’t it just make your heart swell to see her take a step like that? True growth. So brave. She deserves a gold star. Enjoy your quiet time.

  8. that is so wonderful. and she did it all on her own! That is one big girl you have there 🙂

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