In yoga, “Namaste” means “the light within me honors the light within you”.  It is one of my favorite words in any language.

In her book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”, Pema Chodron writes about one of my other favorite words “maitri” meaning “loving kindness”.  She says, “maitri toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything.  Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years.  We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness.  The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better.  It’s about befriending who we are already“.

See that line highlighted above.  To me this is key.  I fail everyday.  In so many ways.  I can get bogged down in my discontent.   I can beat myself up for who I wish to be, who I am not, but in the end I am just me, as I am, both goodness and let’s just say, not so goodness.

I learned to love myself this year.  My clutziness, my monkey brain, my not so perfect body, my impatience, my anger.  Meditation taught me this.  Studying Buddhism has taught me this.  Meditation (to me) is not about a required mat time with a mantra.  It’s about taking those moments to quiet the monkey mind and listen to that still soft sweet spot inside of me (in absolute truth, call me a Buddhist-Quaker).

I am neglectful in my yoga practice, which is a shame.  My mat is dusty,but I can walk out into the moss at the edge of the woods and sink my feet into it’s lush carpet.  I can stretch out my arms and reach to the heavens.  I can scoop up the energy of the natural world around me and pull it into my chest and be there and breathe with it.  I can take those five or ten minutes and indulge in the quiet and the calm.

Several of my blog friends are having dark days it seems.  Depression, sadness, loss, betrayal, bewilderment.

I am sending to you loving kindness. To tell you the dark times will pass.  To take this lesson that I am wrestling with everyday, that I am trying to teach my daughter, the anxious one.  This too shall pass.   So as there is light there is dark, so as the joy seems to pass all too rapidly so will the sadness.  A year ago I was broken and thought my heart might not recover and this journal, this diary, this blog as well as friends near and far, gave me the strength to find the beauty again.

“Namaste” my friends.  The light within me honors the light within you and I hope it wraps you with gentle arms and coaxes you to find peace.



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14 responses to “Namaste

  1. To be able to love oneself is so difficult. We are our harshest critics, after all.

    I am so grateful for you and your friendship. Wishing you and the girls a week of Peace, Love and Light.

  2. Such a beautiful post…isn’t the blog world so amazing? I am just blown away each day by the incredible people that have entered my world and allowed me to enter theirs. You are one of those incredible people…so full of life and insight and wonder. Isn’t it amazing how when we feel like we just.can’….somehow we do it anyway? And somehow…we come out at the other end of that dark tunnel healed and stronger than we ever thought possible.

  3. Learning to know and love oneself is difficult, but ultimately we find peace when we reach some degree of acceptance. Namaste to you too.

  4. What a beautiful post. I needed that.


  5. As Camie said, we are our worst critics. I don’t know why that is but that may be why it is so important for each of us to surround ourselves with family and friends who love us just as we are…for our quirks, our monkey-brains, etc.

    I love your paragraph about standing at the edge of the woods, sinking your feet into the lush carpet. One of my favorite places is the creek where I played as a child. I went there again this summer and it was such a spiritual moment for me.

  6. we are thinking the same thing again. scary. You have said it so much better though. I have always loved that saying “this too shall pass”. And, I believe that you can do yoga anywhere and anytime on or off a mat. Simply quieting our mind is truly yoga.


  7. blueskyhi

    An angel friend of mine that wasn’t in this world long enough once said to me “God will never give you more than you can handle”. But I now know that it is the love and support from friends and family that make this statement true.

  8. What a lovely post. True and beautiful words.
    I can relate to so much of this ..the good and the bad. But I guess I really appreciate it coming from someone like you…someone real.
    I have a really hard time with winter in Montana
    all 8 mos. of it. I am hyperventilating right now anticipating it’s return…the darkness, the grey weather and the wind.
    I am buying lights this year and going back to school so I am hoping the adjustments will help a little. In the meantime..reading your blog and connecting with people like yourself is the elixer I need right now.
    Thank you

  9. Namaste .. to you..

    My mat is feeling neglected as well. Thank you for the light and the reminder..

  10. Namaste, and thank you for sharing this beauty. It warms my heart and feeds my soul. I appreciate so much what you wrote about being on the lush green moss. That too is where my spirit is most often rejuvenated. Blessings to you mama.

  11. having grace for myself is hard sometimes too, but it sure feels good on those days when i do.

  12. Mon

    Wonderful post. I am glad you are learning self love. May it continue.

  13. Such beautiful words. And necessary to me this day. Namaste, dear friend. Thank you.

  14. lovely…

    my kids, too, precipitated my journey of self-acceptance. I never knew there was so much I was blocked from until I began meditating.


    (found you via Mon at Holistic Mama)

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