In yoga, “Namaste” means “the light within me honors the light within you”. It is one of my favorite words in any language.
In her book, “The Wisdom of No Escape”, Pema Chodron writes about one of my other favorite words “maitri” meaning “loving kindness”. She says, “maitri toward ourselves doesn’t mean getting rid of anything. Maitri means that we can still be crazy after all these years. We can still be timid or jealous or full of feelings of unworthiness. The point is not to try to change ourselves. Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already“.
See that line highlighted above. To me this is key. I fail everyday. In so many ways. I can get bogged down in my discontent. I can beat myself up for who I wish to be, who I am not, but in the end I am just me, as I am, both goodness and let’s just say, not so goodness.
I learned to love myself this year. My clutziness, my monkey brain, my not so perfect body, my impatience, my anger. Meditation taught me this. Studying Buddhism has taught me this. Meditation (to me) is not about a required mat time with a mantra. It’s about taking those moments to quiet the monkey mind and listen to that still soft sweet spot inside of me (in absolute truth, call me a Buddhist-Quaker).
I am neglectful in my yoga practice, which is a shame. My mat is dusty,but I can walk out into the moss at the edge of the woods and sink my feet into it’s lush carpet. I can stretch out my arms and reach to the heavens. I can scoop up the energy of the natural world around me and pull it into my chest and be there and breathe with it. I can take those five or ten minutes and indulge in the quiet and the calm.
Several of my blog friends are having dark days it seems. Depression, sadness, loss, betrayal, bewilderment.
I am sending to you loving kindness. To tell you the dark times will pass. To take this lesson that I am wrestling with everyday, that I am trying to teach my daughter, the anxious one. This too shall pass. So as there is light there is dark, so as the joy seems to pass all too rapidly so will the sadness. A year ago I was broken and thought my heart might not recover and this journal, this diary, this blog as well as friends near and far, gave me the strength to find the beauty again.
“Namaste” my friends. The light within me honors the light within you and I hope it wraps you with gentle arms and coaxes you to find peace.