Sometimes realizations sneak up on you. Sometimes they just sit there silently brewing until you are ready and then say, “uh-huh, I knew eventually you would get it“.
my head fills up easily with dreams. it always has. “could I have been…” as Dave Matthews would sing. i can too easily place myself into some other person’s shoes or situation and imagine myself there. which is how i easily make friends. which is why sometimes it is difficult for my brain to wrap itself around the blogosphere. so many wonderful people, doing so many wonderful things.
i almost gave up blogging a couple of weeks ago. not out loud or anything. just a thought in my head that i might be too busy. my blog reading unfortunately has dropped off. i asked a friend, a fellow blogger, if i should feel guilty about not making the rounds as often. “absolutely not” she said, “you and your family come first“. she is so wise even when she doesn’t know it.
but i cannot stop writing. even if no one visits. okay, my mom will visit. probably my grandmother too. i’ve been blogging now over two years on this and two previous blogs. this is my 524th post. for years i scribbled the words Under The BIG blue Sky in notebooks because i liked the way it sounded. i didn’t know how i would eventually use it. but this seems to suit it well.
recently there was a “beautiful blogger” award from Leslie that i have still yet to follow up on. a couple of emails from people that i am just getting to know. tina thoughtfully guest posted my dear girls post with a beautiful introduction that made me hide my head but grin. i received a note from a dear friend in the mail that said, “please keep writing“.
i’m not sure how to take it all. i’m just a girl. an ordinary girl doing ordinary things. that people would say to me that i inspire them, that my words are beautiful catches me by surprise, but thank you, all of you. to take this life, turn it into something beautiful, it’s something we all aim to do. i was never just sure which way to do it.
i will keep writing. even when it’s just me, my computer and my mom. and if you don’t think that what you are writing is worth anything, keep going. because even if you don’t know it, it is meaning something to someone, even if that someone is just yourself. and that is a realization worth having.