One Year Later…

I just realized that as of Tuesday I have officially been divorced for one year.  Granted we were legally separated for more than a year before that thanks to the court system.  Regardless, I read back through this blog last night and relived that year leading up to the divorce when I was first on my own and this past year after.

I used to be anti-divorce.  Of course everyone goes into their marriage thinking it is going to last forever.  I tucked a card under my husbands pillow on our wedding night about being on our porch when we were old .  He would be in a rocking chair and I would be too old and tired to sweep, but we would be there together in the night staring at the moon.

We made it a little over ten years.  If we were smarter it would have been less.  Hindsight is an interesting thing.  Things change, never stay the same.  Some things you just cannot see will come.  Some things you cannot help.  Sometimes you have no choice.

************

If I had not become divorced:

I would not have realized how easily a soul can lose hope and how hard the fight can be to get it back.

I would have not known that the trees above you will hear  your whispered fears and prayers  and that a breeze on your face can kiss the fear away and bring comfort.

I would not have discovered how strong I can be.

I would not have made friends from around the world.

I would not have known what ferocity resides inside me when it comes to my children.

I would not have discovered how much music affects me, especially voices from around the world.

I would not have found my voice on paper or in print.

I would not have known JUST how much my family and friends love me.

I would not have the same sense of who I am.

I might not have believed that a better day does come.  That each day is a fresh start.

I might not have realized my potential.

I would not have discovered how nice a glass of wine and the breeze and moonlight can soothe a soul.

I would not have relished the joys and happiness of life as I can now.

************

If there is one lesson I’ve learned, that I could  give to someone else, it would be this.

That sometimes what seems like the most horrible thing in the world turns out to be a blessing you never knew you needed.

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11 Comments

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11 responses to “One Year Later…

  1. Amen to that. I never thought I’d ever get divorced in the beginning. I remember thinking, I’ll be married 60+ yrs like my grandparents, then 10 yrs in I thought, oh no, this isn’t right. I waited another 4 yrs to go through with it. I wish I hadn’t now. All those years lost in misery.

    It was the worst thing I’ve ever been through, and the best thing too.

  2. You are a very strong person. Your priorities are obvious. I’m glad to be one of those friends from across the world.

  3. isn’t it amazing what a gift of sorrow can give to us? in some cases it gives us our life back.

    1 year is a big milestone. i’m going on 12 years, and while it’s been a bumpy ride, i thank the universe every day for the life i’ve been given.

  4. What a great list of things learned!
    I applaud your resilience and your strength.
    Glad that you’ve found a better place to be and grown in.

  5. Congrats- I love reading posts like this 🙂

  6. Such true words spoken. I’ve been down that road too. Though I was hanging on for all I was worth at first, looking back, so much strength & wisdom came out of it. I’m a different, better person because of it. It helped me come to the place where I can believe “it’s all good.”

  7. syd

    I am in utter agreement. I never imagined it would be ME. It was the hardest thing and the best thing that has happened in my life so far… I have learned so much, and I have no regrets. I might even go so far as to say I’m thankful.

  8. Conny

    So true. We seem to learn the most about ourselves in the hardest of times. I love that you gained your perspective so quickly ~ for some it takes years … or not at all.

    Most sincerely,
    Conny

  9. Very, very nicely said. You have made an amazing journey.

  10. tifakaylakat

    You are really strong and inspiring. It’s not easy to find the good in the misery, but have have. Excellent work, my dear.

  11. I remember that time and am so glad it worked out for you. Life is unpredictable, that is for sure.

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