they said it would take two years to leave the pain, two years to find your way again, to feel yourself. two years to heal ten.
stability came after one year, peace shortly after, but now past the two year mark, there are other things: happiness, contentment, hope, belief.
i don’t feel like myself again. i feel better than that.
i don’t just hope anymore. i am ready to reach out and start doing.
i don’t feel as if there are no scars, but i have been given the healing balm of time and understanding.
someone told me the other day, you don’t deserve what happened to you.
but if i hadn’t then would i be here? with these lessons, this life, this blessed second chance.
sometimes during those two years the thoughts came to never recover, never trust, never love, ever, ever again.
then you wake up and the world is your oyster and you couldn’t have dreamed this person you would become. from that tiny dark hole the light might somehow creep in and that with time and the light and a lot of soul searching and a lot of help along the way you would be smiling, you would be laughing, you would wake up and look in the mirror and like who you saw.
two years to realize you control your path.
two years to find these moments.
two years to feel you are worthy of being loved again.
two years to lose the tightness, to give it up.
two years to open up and let light and love shine down, wash over you and make you feel—