Onward and Upward.

I need to decide what to write.  I keep writing dribs and drabs here and there.  On the laptop.  On this computer, in a half a dozen random notebooks.  I have a memo I wrote on my cell phone in the morning when there was no paper handy. I send an email with writing in it every day Monday-Friday to my writing buddy.  I’ve always written best in short bursts.  Phrases, poems, little bits, but I want to collect them up, make some sense of them

I have pointed next year, 2011, as my year to focus on my writing and photography.

So far my unplanned, five-year plan could be summed up this way:

2007:  Cry, cry again, cry some more.  Feel sad and helpless, then go cry again.

2008:  Get the hell out of the marriage.

2009:  Recover from the divorce.  Get healthy and whole mentally.

2010:  Discover who I am.  Clean out house.  Lose 30 pounds.

So that’s it.  2011 will be the year of putting into action the things I identified this year that I feel driven and passionate about.


But I need organization.  I NEED organization, otherwise, I’ll continue to float around here all willy-nilly.  I would love to profess to be organized and I try.  I have calendars and lists, and spots for things, but really, when it comes down to it  “willy-nilly” may as well be my  middle name.  Because instead of doing those things on the calendar and the lists, I’m sitting here doing this AND it’s 8:26 p.m. AND I haven’t eaten AND I will end up staying up WAY TOO LATE again.

So….to organize.  My life seems to be on a pretty good trajectory right now.  There are still a few unknowns.  Oh hell, there’s a lot of big unknowns, so I need a guide, a map of sorts.   I did a VERY GOOD JOB (insert gold star here) of identifying what I wanted in my life this year, and surprisingly a lot of things have fallen into place.  Now I need to walk further down the path.

I think more than anything this year what I learned most was about loving myself, being grateful for what I have and not being afraid to reach for what I want.

I think next year.  I’m just going to stay focused on documenting it.





Filed under mama

3 responses to “Onward and Upward.

  1. love…I love how you are so aware of each phase…even tho they were really hard at times. I’m so glad you are on the lighter side of the tunnel…xo

  2. love this post…goals are good…plans to achieve them are even better. you go girl!

  3. I love your five year plan. It’s amazing how our souls take us where we need to go sometimes without us even knowing it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s