I need to decide what to write. I keep writing dribs and drabs here and there. On the laptop. On this computer, in a half a dozen random notebooks. I have a memo I wrote on my cell phone in the morning when there was no paper handy. I send an email with writing in it every day Monday-Friday to my writing buddy. I’ve always written best in short bursts. Phrases, poems, little bits, but I want to collect them up, make some sense of them
I have pointed next year, 2011, as my year to focus on my writing and photography.
So far my unplanned, five-year plan could be summed up this way:
2007: Cry, cry again, cry some more. Feel sad and helpless, then go cry again.
2008: Get the hell out of the marriage.
2009: Recover from the divorce. Get healthy and whole mentally.
2010: Discover who I am. Clean out house. Lose 30 pounds.
So that’s it. 2011 will be the year of putting into action the things I identified this year that I feel driven and passionate about.
But I need organization. I NEED organization, otherwise, I’ll continue to float around here all willy-nilly. I would love to profess to be organized and I try. I have calendars and lists, and spots for things, but really, when it comes down to it “willy-nilly” may as well be my middle name. Because instead of doing those things on the calendar and the lists, I’m sitting here doing this AND it’s 8:26 p.m. AND I haven’t eaten AND I will end up staying up WAY TOO LATE again.
So….to organize. My life seems to be on a pretty good trajectory right now. There are still a few unknowns. Oh hell, there’s a lot of big unknowns, so I need a guide, a map of sorts. I did a VERY GOOD JOB (insert gold star here) of identifying what I wanted in my life this year, and surprisingly a lot of things have fallen into place. Now I need to walk further down the path.
I think more than anything this year what I learned most was about loving myself, being grateful for what I have and not being afraid to reach for what I want.
I think next year. I’m just going to stay focused on documenting it.