{my photo for the new year: acceptance}

When you live alone for some period of time (say almost three years) you kind of have your own rules, or more accurately some rules need not apply.  Like closing the doors when you enter the bathroom or talking out loud to yourself constantly or eating breakfast  closer to noon on a regular basis or talking back to the movie you are watching or walking around in tanktops in the middle of winter because that’s who you are.

Then someone else walks into your home and all of a sudden you realize A LOT about yourself.  Like how quirky you are, how controlling, how much a creature of habit.  Then all of a sudden you are turning to someone else and looking at them and if you are LUCKY they are laughing at you, or smiling or finding the fact that you write an abundance of lists in colored Sharpie markers cute….not insane.

The other thing though about letting someone else into your home is that the things you thought were going to bother you, do not.  Like needing  the house to be spotless, or your hair not slapped back in a messy ponytail, or how you look naked.  Those things just fall by the wayside because you are wondering if you should remind him again for the third time to check the chocolate chip cookies because it’s your recipe and you think they might be burning (they were okay by the way, he had it all under control).

It’s amazing after years of introspection to suddenly see yourself as someone else might.

So maybe it’s not so okay to give him four reminders to check the cookies, but maybe it is okay to narrate the movie.

Maybe it’s not okay to leave the bathroom door open, but maybe it is okay to lay still and let him stare into the real you.

Because that’s what it’s all about.  Because in 2010 I found out who I was and then when I saw myself reflected in someone else’s eyes I saw the same person and I guess that’s called being true to yourself.



Filed under Uncategorized

5 responses to “Quirky

  1. *sigh*….beautiful…I”m really happy for you…


  2. Denise

    ditto what Michelle said.

  3. oh, i’m so glad you’ve got that in your life. i worry about all those things (well, maybe not the cookies), and i’m hoping this year is my year to have it, too.

  4. I was smiling reading this post cause when John first moved in I felt all those things too. I had to become comfortable with somone looking at me, really looking at me, cause no one had in so long. Now it’s just part of my wonderful new life, and I’m comfy and snuggly in every corner of my world. I’m so glad that this is happening to you too! Yeah!!

  5. Me too! Really happy for you 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s