it’s been far too long since i’ve had a regular yoga practice. last night there was no more pushing it off there was just simply, get down on the floor. i didn’t even bother to go back upstairs and get my mat, i just started right there on the hardwood floor in the living room. i was just out of a hot bath. i had Peter Davidson playing on the computer and i had all the lights out except one dim one in the kitchen.
yoga for me is really a mind, body and spirit exercise. there is no better way to get present with yourself. i cannot do my yoga practice with the kids in the house. there is too much distraction. i need the dim and the quiet to get to this place. i took yoga classes and i enjoyed them. i liked the camraderie. i liked having someplace to go once a week at 6:00 pm after work to throw my legs up on the wall, work my body, learn and then relax into what i can only call the true bliss of savasana.
but here at home, in daily practice, in the dark quiet moments everything else goes away. it’s just me and my body and my breath. the thoughts and the questions and the worries dissapate as my focus switches to my breath, and the way i feel my body stretching itself. the reminder to stop and drop my shoulders, to push a little more or less. the focus on remaining in pose and then sinking into the next. there is a peace there. in that present moment when the balance is a work in commitment, when you feel your arms or legs reaching into infinity, when you realize, hey, i’m alive, and then when you rest and relax, feeling soothed by yourself, by the energy inside you, by the world around you. yoga practice puts me in a protective bubble where no one or no thing can touch me.
i know that this is not what yoga is to everyone. i realize we all have different reasons and different expectations when going into it. for some it is a spiritual practice, for others it is just exercise. for me it is a bit of both. i feel connected to myself and the world around me when i practice and i am a better person for it.
i sometimes wish everyone could experience this and i think how i would explain to them this feeling, but i cannot. it’s not describable to me, though i keep trying. one day i might get it down in words but for now i’m just going to keep sticking to my practice.