it’s been awhile.
i don’t usually go this long without posting.
so long, my friend debbie emails me to say are you ok?
yes, debbie. i am okay.
hit the wall.
it’s been three years. you would think by now i would be getting used to this.
but now the girls are getting older. it seems they are getting their own ideas and opinions that we need to hash out. it seems they are getting involved in more and more things. it seems my time continues to shrink and shrink. it seems that ten o’clock on Sunday night, still trying to finish up the weekend work comes too quickly and too often these days. it seems i notice even more the absence of another adult in this house to turn to at any given point.
i’m whining and giving in to self-pity. it happens on occassion.
but it will be okay.
and i will refocus and come back to take my own advice, enjoy everyday moments.
like right now. little one is sick, a virus that makes her tired, miserable, rashy, but still cute as a button. curled up next to me here in bed, with mama, her warm slightly feverish hand pulling mine around her to sleep. ems is crashed out at the end of my bed convinced it’s unfair that her sister gets to sleep with me and not her. so here in the midst of all the chaos, the overwhelming scheduling and rescheduling lies my peace, my moment. my two girls with me in bed, fresh flannel sheets and string lullabies playing on the cd player. it’s a comfort to them and it’s because of this situation that feels not quite so right to me on so many occassions that we have this ability to be three girls curled up comforted in the bed together. even the oldest of girls here, finally after an insane week, finds a moment of comfort and peace.
it’s wordless wednesday, but i’ve been wordless here for a bit too long.
it’s spring break so there are no lunches to pack, there is no homework to be done for the next four or five days. thank you for such relief. this weekend there is much to celebrate. the arrival of spring, new beginnings, my oldest turning 10 years old and my friend debbie’s wedding. thank you debbie for taking a moment in all your wedding pre-production to make sure i was okay, and have a beautiful, beautiful day. relish every moment of your new beginning and then take some time to rest. from me to you, i am so appreciative that you have found your one.
now it’s up and drag my rear out of bed to start it all over again…….