Tag Archives: girls

Wordless Wednesday: Forget Spring, Where’s Summer



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the sounds of happiness.

{this morning, 6:00 a.m. just she and i surveying the snow}

Emily is in her room.  It’s bedtime.  She’s giggling like a fiend, then laughing until I swear she could split her seams.   I am two rooms down doing laundry and I can hear her as they video conference in her room before I tuck her in.  I don’t eavesdrop, but I catch bits and pieces.  Like him telling her, “I bet you could do anything if you really wanted to, even lift an elephant” and her saying “Do you want to see how big I can make my nostrils”?

This little (big) girl is unrecognizable from four years ago as the one who had panic attacks in the corners, the one from three years ago who refused to go to school, the one two years ago who had crazy attacks of anxiety over stomach woes.  We haven’t had a breakdown in months over feeling sick, the stomach aches just about gone, just a few bouts of gas attacks now and again.

I am taking credit for about all of this progress.  I deserve it.  It’s been a difficult journey and a lot of hard work, a lot of long days and nights, a lot of tears from her and me both as we’ve made our way together.

But she talks to him differently then she talks to me.  If I stand outside in the hallway, I find she tells him things I wouldn’t otherwise know.

I knew he was good for me.  I realize now how good he is for her too.  She has a happy giggle I never knew she had before.




Filed under girls

grow, be independant.

{found in the back of the car this morning}

what i have always wanted from day one for my girls was that they would grow up confident and secure in themselves.  i just believe that if i can give them the gift of  these two things they have a much better start and a less rocky path on their journeys.  as we ease into this middle section of their childhood i think hanging on to this wish is more important than ever.


i want them to know who they are, but i want them to always accept their changing natures.

i want them to not need anyone to tell them they are beautiful to feel so.

 i want them to reach for dreams and be the person THEY want to be.

 i want them to know they can get there if they work and they stretch and believe.

i want them to not need a boy to be happy, but i want them to find one that makes them feel over the moon.

 i want them to have friends that make them smile and laugh, who are just enough like them to love and just different enough to inspire.

  i want them  to think and question what they are told and then decide for themselves.

 i want them to know that every person you meet in this life has a lesson waiting for you.

  i want them to feel angry and powerless about something and then use their voices to do something.

  i want them to find a spiritual practice they can believe in.

 i want them to take criticism, think about it, and then decide it’s worth.

 i want them to know it is okay to fail, get up, and try again. 

i want them to live, breathe, fail, succeed, think, dream, believe and

grow, always grow.



Filed under girls


(lots of smiles this weekend, all around)

Emily told me today that it was unfair that we only get two days for the weekend.  Not enough time, she said.  I have to agree, it seems completely unfair. So I told her that.  And then I said, “wait until you’re grown up and you don’t get summer or Christmas vacation anymore either”.  When did I become this person who says such things, such a mother.

So it is Sunday night again.  I wondered why at 8:00 p.m. I was vacuuming?  Why do I always save the housework until last?  I am a procrastinator extraordinaire.  But there is that list, you know.  The one for 2011.  The one that  maintains the three must do’s:  live, laugh love.  Vacuuming comes after.

I skipped the grocery.  Took a lot of photos of a beautiful snowfall.  Sat on the couch and drank tea and talked with my mother.  Took two hot showers in one day. Spent a lot of time at the editor.  Let the girls stay up too late making Play-Doh cakes and treats. Curled up on my bed in the darkness and talked and laughed until 2:45 a.m with a man I adore.  Stayed in my pajamas until after noon.  Went outside in the snow a bit with the girls.  Left the Christmas tree up for another few days because it is too beautiful to take down.

Perhaps it will catch up with me, this lackadaisical attitude.  Perhaps not.  We only get two days.  Best take advantage of them to the fullest.

So far, so good.


Filed under home life

A Poem.

I have written four today, here in the  quiet of the house, but Emily wrote this one, last night and took it with her to school.


Veterans are people who fought in the war.

Veterans are heroic and brave.

They might lose their hearing or get an injury.

My Grandpa is a veteran.

He lost almost all of his hearing.

We should respect our veterans everyday.

Even when it’s not Veteran’s Day.


Emily, Grade Four.


Filed under girls

on children…

It has been a rough last week.  Horrible cold and fever  took over both of my girls over the course of it.  We are still trying to figure out Emily’s stomach woes.  Blood test for Celiac and trying gluten-free this week on top of the already acknowledged lactose intolerance.  Today we did everything right and she went to bed with either a rash or hives on her middle.  It’s been frustrating.  But in all the household is feeling much better and somehow, someway I have escaped it, perhaps there is such a thing as miracles.

Today was a good day.  Tonight I saw this girl above skipping across the yard.  When she skips, it makes my heart sing.  It’s just a sign of pure happiness, and her happiness is my happiness.  When things are tough, when motherhood seems overwhelming and I don’t seem to be getting my way, I am reminded of this portion of Kahlil Gibran’s “The Prophet”, one of my favorite parts of my favorite spiritual guidebook, that any mother at any stage may appreciate:

“Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

for even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves the bow that is stable”.


Filed under home life

message from a seven year old. in translation.

“I think you are the beautifulist thing I ever saw in my whole life.   You are the one who made me how I am now.  You are so nice to have around.  You are so nice even though you are can be mean sometimes, but I love you anyway”.

Reminder to self:  This is why I do it.


Filed under girls