hello today-i like you

 

 

 I liked today.

I knew going into it there would be no school and no work due to the snow.

The snow that I seem to like this year, who knew?

I liked having a lie in.

I liked tromping through it sometimes up to my hips.

I liked the way the cardinal feathers floated freely across the top skimming the crust.

I liked the way my body felt alive shoveling my grandparents sidewalk, warming me up so much that hat and gloves and almost coat came off.

I liked listening to my grandmother in her robe fussing at me to stop.

I liked hot homemade ham and bean soup for lunch.

I liked hours spent at the laptop working on a new idea I’m excited about.

I liked having this laptop.  I can work anywhere, my favorite perhaps my bed.

I liked drinking two and a half pots of tea a day.

I liked seeing real shadows falling across unmarked snow.

I liked seeing barn cats tenderly making their way.

I liked befuddled cattle not sure to brave the field, belly-deep in snow and buffalo that tear away and just go.

I liked an old husky dog that turns into a puppy outside.

I liked a boyfriend who called me at lunchtime just to hear my voice.

I liked little girls with pink cheeks and wild snowy hair.

I liked seeing little heads bobbing through the snow towards next door for a visit.

I liked knowing this day wasn’t planned so why not sit down to another cup of tea.

I liked listening to Ed and the girls Skyping on the computer and how he makes them giddy with laughter.

I liked reading the end of  The Wizard of Oz with Karelyn.

I liked a hot bath.

I liked clean, warm flannel sheets.

I liked Ed telling me eventually I will have to let him take care of me.

I liked how a good yoga routine and some deep breathing can help ease aches and pains.

I liked the quiet and the darkness.

I like life, on a day like this.

weekend

looked like this:

late nights and lazy mornings

eggs and bacon

tea and toast

movies and games

laundry and clutter

friends and family

wet and dry

books and lamplight

blankets and breezes

cool air and crisp nights

we are at a threshold

i can almost feel fall, can you?

working out, slowing down.

i feel myself disappearing slowly from the online world.  gone seem to be the days where i could sit for hours visiting here and there, looking up this, researching that.  has anything really changed in my life?  i couldn’t say.  but lately, it’s been one of the last places i seem to go.

i think that perhaps i should rejoice in the fact that i am finding my time elsewhere.  that i am busy.  that i am focused on other things.  that my attention is not solely focused on a machine, but on myself.

i am working out.  steadily.  cardio, 30 to 45 minutes at least four times a week.  strength training every other day.  building up our fruit and vegetable intake, cutting back our meat and white flour/sugar  intake.  my goal is to lose 33 pounds this year.  i started a little over two weeks ago and  i have lost 5 so far.  why 33?  it’s just a goal that sounds right to me.  if i lose 40 or 25 so be it.

the important part is that i want to feel comfortable in my body again.  which right now isn’t happening.  the excess weight i’ve put on in the last year and a half is chipping away at my newly found self-esteem.  i’m also thinking a haircut is in order and perhaps a make-up education, not for everyday, but you know, for special days.  i want to feel pretty.

so i’m working hard.  i am pushing myself.  but the funny thing is that as the weeks have progressed it feels less like pushing and more like enjoying.  i like the way my breath comes and goes when i exercise.  i like the fact that i am aware of my breath (thank you for the reminder) and i like the way my body feels when it is working.  who would have ever guessed?

most importantly though, i love the yoga afterwards.  i end every cardio session with yoga,  i slow down, cool a little and then strike my poses and it brings everything back down to earth.  yoga feels to me like connecting with my innermost self.  and after such hard work, it’s the soothing tunes of my favorite Kenyan musician, Ayub Ogada that help me relax back into a place of peace.  the words are in a language i do not understand so there is no distraction but his voice and the sounds of the instruments bring that lull i need, so that when i am done i can lay on my mat at peace.  the resting bit.  see i cannot forget that what my body also needs is the resting bit.

so why have i not been around as much? that is why.  besides being a working mother, being the head of the household, being the caretaker, i am also working very hard on being me.  and this me, as i say every year, is a work in progress.  i made so many beautiful strides last year with my emotional self, it’s time now to focus on my physical self, and unfortunately that eats up a lot of time, but i’ve decided, most certainly, that i am worth it.

someone  recently put up a quote about taking action, to not only think, but do, be the change you want, not only talk the talk, but walk the walk.

i am walking, the walk.

Back To The Land

I know you are like me, or somewhat  like me.  Farmers, homesteaders, friends of farmers, or just believers in whole food, healthy living, slow living.

I am not a farmer.  I don’t think I could be a farmer, at least not at this stage of my life (lol, for those of you who know what my life is like right now).  But I believe in farmers. You know real farmers.  The ones who feel the dirt in their palms.  The ones who nurture their plants, their animals.  I’ve gone a bit overboard on the food front lately.  I’m studying more this year about whole foods and the benefits that they bring to our bodies, our souls.   About how we can heal most of our ailments with food and herbs.  How we can be proactive about our health by nourishing our bodies correctly.

I was trying to catch up on emails today and found this link that my sister sent me back at the end of November.  I really, really sat down and it really struck me.  It’s beautiful, both the words and the photos.

Please take a few minutes to read it. I posted a shot of it here.

You know when you think about if you could do anything, if money were no factor in your life, what would be that one thing you would like to do.  That you could feel a passion about.  I have thought about this in many ways.

If I had the opportunity, I would visit artisans all over.  Cheesemakers, winemakers, butchers, breadmakers. Then I would teach children about food.  Real food.  The way nature intended it.  Teach them to know what foods are and how they grow. How to grow it, how to cook it, how to eat it  and along the way I think, I just think, if they got it  they might just change this whole dang world around.

P.S.  I want to thank Jenni in KS for telling me about Sweet Juniper’s book  made for his kids about where there food comes from, it’s brilliant, check it out here.

January Goals

I decided to focus on three goals only. Anything that jumps in beyond that is just a bonus.  I’ve outlined a plan (ha, that’s scary in itself) and am going to break out smaller goals to work on every month.  Changing everything at once never works.  Never!  Too overwhelming, so I am going to focus each month on changing or doing a few things.

Here are my broad goals for 2010:

1. Be mindful, grow and learn in the area of whole living, eating and wellness.

2. Simplify and organize the home.

3.  Take more photographs and build my online photo community.

So for the month of January, I’ve given myself some goals.

1. Get 7-8 hours sleep every night.  EVERY night.  I’m notorious for staying up late after getting the girls to bed and my body and my mind suffer the consequences. So that is my wellness goal for January.

2. Sort, organize and donate any clothing we have saved up in the basement.  The local fire company is having a warm, clothing drive and I have (after sorting this weekend) two bags of winter clothes/scarves/coats that the girls have outgrown.  I still need to sort out and store the summer clothes that are piled up in my bedroom and go through the closets and pull out anything in our current wardrobe we are not wearing.

3. Start the 365 project.  For two years I have watched other bloggers do the 365 project.  If you don’t know about it click this link.  The 365 project involves taking a photo every day of the year.  Looking back it gives you a snapshot of what you experienced throughout the year and gives you a chance to grow as a photographer.  I joined the 365 group on Flickr to try to maintain the commitment and started my own page at Project 365, to document it. I would encourage anyone to join.

So that’s it.  All I’m demanding of myself.  I’d also like to clean out my kitchen cabinets and finish reading Coop (see 2010 reads tab) by the end of the month.  So hopefully I can do that too.

My last wish is to continue to connect with the other members of this online community.  I am blessed to have been touched by all of you.  Everyday I seem to find more and more amazing people.  My blog counter shows me about 100 people visit here daily, so if you haven’t already, please take a moment to say hello.  I’ve been bad about commenting on other’s blogs over the holidays, but hope I can take the time now that things are settling down.

Happy January!

Happy New Year

Celebrations

And just like that it’s over.  Christmas.  My favorite of all favorite holidays.  The music, the carols, the gifts, the food, the family, the fun, the celebrations.  That is my cheesecake.  My apple almond cheesecake.  The first cheesecake I ever made, and it was yummy.  Very yummy.  Sinfully yummy.

As much as I revel in the preparations for Christmas, something strange happens to me in the days after.  I get fanatic, obsessive, crazy about organizing, cleaning, clearing out.  I want to put things away, clean off the counters, remove the piles of gifts, of cards, of stuff.  I did eight loads of laundry this weekend, all the new clothes, the sheets, the towels, it’s all done, put away.  I organized and categorized my magazines, I cleaned out my drawer of cards.  I made beds which was NOT happening last week.

I’m paving the way for next year.  Recently I started putting a theme to the coming years.  2010 is the year of living simply and living whole and healthy.  It’s time to clean out the stuff….for real.  It’s time to shed the extra pounds, it’s time to get real about myself and my home.  It’s time to cast aside dreams and time-wasters.   I know that is what New Year’s is about, but how many times do we really say to ourselves, do I really need all this?  How much could I really do without?  What do I really need.

I am getting ready to sign off and have another celebration.  My mother’s birthday is today and we are gathering at my sister’s.  In the spirit of starting simple and healthy, I am giving my mother a simple, healthy gift.  Something that didn’t cost a fortune, didn’t take me forever to make or search for and was made with my own hands.  Ingredients I had on hand, a recycled jar, some raffia from upstairs.  Something she will like, at least I hope so…..

Sunday Morning Dance

It seems to me I could name every Sunday post with Sunday Morning.  Sunday mornings are good for us, all three of us.  Sunday is the only day we can sleep in.  School and work through the week, swim lessons on Saturday, but Sunday is leisurely.  Sunday we have pancakes.  Saturday is for eggs, Sunday is for pancakes.  This morning Pumpkin Pancakes and I’m linking to the recipe because they were very yummy and not too sweet.

Sometimes one or both of the girls helps, sometimes they breeze in and out of the kitchen.  They always know that’s where I will be.  Sunday mornings, I’m in the kitchen with bowls, and towels, and flour and eggs and butter.  Sometimes there is bacon, but we have not been to the farm in a couple of weeks, will go this afternoon, so the freezer is a bit empty.  Ems made a fruit salad this morning….before I awoke.  I came down the stairs this morning and she sat here at the computer and said,”I made fruit salad for breakfast”.  Matter of factly.  Like every eight year old makes a fruit salad before their parents get up.  She amazes me that she knows her way around our kitchen.  That she knows where the coconut, nuts, chocolate chips, bananas and grapes are and makes a beautiful fall salad.  Out of all her talents I sense a real knack for putting food bits together.

So the table is set, and we all sit down in the sunlight of the dining room.  Perhaps we will have music while we eat, perhaps not.  We are all still in our pyjamas, we have none of us brushed our hair.  Today we had no music, but started talking about Christmas, as I told them I was done my shopping for them and they told me they needed more craft supplies for the secret gift making sessions they are holding behind closed doors.  “Tape, Mommy, we need more tape and glitter, green glitter”, makes me cringe a little.  The gifts we were preparing to make for our feline and canine friends (cat balls and dog biscuits).  When we would get our tree and could we possibly take Aunt Karen and Kevin.

We set ourselves into a Christmasy frenzy, and put the music on.  This Warm December, a favorite.  Then we dance, because that’s usually what happens in this house when you’ve been warmed by the sunshine coming through the windows, and your belly is full of pumpkin pancakes and you have the sweet sound of Jack streaming through the house.  I grabbed Ems first and we twirled around until I picked her up to spin because she is still light like air, her legs wrapping around my waist, her face nestled into my neck.  Then it is Boo, who starts up then drops to the ground as she’s made of bricks and so we dance and twirl and spin.  She is a blur, always too fast to capture, Ems has gone and grabbed the cat to dance with, dear sweet Annabelle, who at age twelve now has the  patience for dancing in the arms of a girl.

Then we are off in our separate directions, Boo coloring at the table, Ems in a corner with a book, me here at the computer.  We will be off on errands soon enough, there will be the packing and preparing for school and work again this evening, but nothing, not anything can beat Sunday mornings here, the peace of a quiet morning at home and the feel of little girls twirling in your hands, and the security it brings  like nothing in the outside world can shatter your peace.

Yarn Contemplation

I can’t knit.  Okay, well I don’t knit.  No one has taught me yet and I’m not very, well, dexterous.  I really want to learn, it’s just mapped out for something to learn in a year or two, this year is the cleaning up and organizing year.  I have knitting envy though.  So many of my blog friends are  amazing knitters.

This lack of knowledge or skill however does not counter a love of beautiful wool or yarn.  I found this tutorial to make dryer balls.  Wool dryer balls to lift your clothes and absorb water to decrease drying time, naturally.  I could do this.  So I got some wool yarn and did it and it was contemplative, meditative, repetitive and dare I say, fun.  Even Annabelle (of course) got into the act.

What I ended up with were gorgeous 10″ balls of yarn which were then washed and dried to help them felt together.  The first set were a bit sketchy, a couple of stray strands felted together but not attached to the ball, I had to clip them and rewash two more times.  Then I was really put off by the fact that the balls were stinky.  I mean eww, stinky and I thought well that was worth a go, and they are quite beautiful I could use them as decoration.  But then after using them a few times in the dryer the stinky went away and the felting continued and now they are just wonderful, and they actually work.  I mean for real, they have been cutting the drying time.

So I am aching now to make more, and thinking that wouldn’t they make nice decorative pieces in a bit smaller size.  Then I though well, if I had a little catnip and a bell, what excellent cat toys, then I saw this post over on 5 Orange Potatoes.

I just ordered some catnip, guess what I’m doing next….

If you want to see some real, amazing, women doing real, awe-inspiring work with wool, please follow these links to farmama, who beautifully recounted the story of a journey from one sheep named Matilda to one sweater (you amaze me, Sara) and bloom, who continues to amaze me with her multitude of talents, (love to you, Camilla) they are both truly an inspiration.

Oh! Pioneer

You read Pioneer Woman already, don’t you?  Tell me you read Pioneer Woman?  I had, but then hadn’t for awhile.  Then I realized her cookbook (drool, swoon) had just come out.  Just a few days before I visited and I wanted it, oh I wanted it, but I’m trying to control my spending and acquiring, and the cookbook bookcase is full, yes, you read that right cookbook bookcase.

But then I walked into the library, I’m trying to find a new book to rival the goodness of the last one and I breeze by the NEW BOOKS section and there it is, brand spanking new, on the shelf staring out at me:

 

You know what I love…..

I love the not so simple simple life.  I love recipes made from the heart.  I love some really, really good cattle pictures, for real.  And I love when someone can start a blog, become famous and still not apologize and still seem 100% real deal.  I love they took a bajillion photos of her for the cover and she had her hubby take this one of her in her real kitchen.

You know what I think….

I think there must be a real deal cowboy out there who’s looking for a girl to cook sweet meals and raise wild children?  Right?  Cattle are optional, goats are a necessity.